


To take care of you

by Arghenthia



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: A lot of feelings as usual, Begging, Bottom Niles, Dom Leo, Dom/sub, Gentle Sex, Hand Jobs, Light Angst, M/M, Mention of Past Abuse, Niles is very thirsty and so am I, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Porn with Feelings, Restraints, Sex Magic, mention of past prostitution, mention of trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-01-31 22:29:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12691470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arghenthia/pseuds/Arghenthia
Summary: “Undress,” he told him. It was an order, but there was a sort of sweetness behind it.Niles let out a shaky breath, then he began with unlacing his cape, letting it fall on the ground.Leo was looking at him, at his movements, and his intense gaze almost burned on his skin as more of it was revealed. Niles discarded his boots, his shirt and, lastly, his pants. He stood naked as Leo admired him, letting his eyes wander appreciatively on his body.Without hurry, he moved a step closer and raised a hand to lay it on his torso. Niles realized in that moment that he was wearing gloves, black leather gloves that felt cold on his heated skin. He trembled as Leo slid his hand down his body, then slowly moved beside him, then behind him. When he talked, he did it whispering in his ear. “You are so handsome, Niles. I could look at you all day.”Niles has a fantasy he can't get rid of and Leo offers to fulfil it. That unexpectedly brings back old issues from Niles' past.





	To take care of you

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a very thirsty idea, but then feelings happened and this is the result. I hope you enjoy this roller coaster LOL
> 
> A special thanks to Emily for editing this for me <3

Niles remembered very clearly the first time he had witnessed his favourite side of Leo. 

On his knees, with Brynhildr’s vines trapping him and choking the air out of his lungs, Leo had appeared to him as a dreadful vision. He had smiled coldly, telling him how foolish he had been to think he could have gotten away with his crime. Niles had no doubt that Leo would have killed him that day if not for the capricious curiosity that had sparked from his last words. 

Niles forgot about that first impression during the following years. 

Leo turned out to be kind of a brat in the first few months of his new job, just like those spoiled children of nobility he grew up hating. He had fought him back then, his tongue spitting venom at every given opportunity. He was sure that he was going to be cast out eventually, sent back to where he belonged, but Leo never gave up and ended up growing on him. 

Even as that second impression faded, replaced by devotion and unrequited feelings, Niles had been convinced that that first day had been just an act. Maybe he had just looked at him with eyes clouded with fear, seeing something that was not. 

Niles realized that he had been wrong only the first time they went to battle together and he had the chance to witness it again. He was looking at it in that very moment, as they were on yet another battlefield. With sweat and dirt covering his skin and blood pumping in his ears from the adrenaline, Niles found himself staring at Leo, completely raptured. 

High on the top of his horse, he was shouting spells one after the other, annihilating every enemy that had the misfortune to face him. He had lost his headband at some point and his hair got messier every time his magic blazed around him, lighting his cold gaze in many different colours. Leo flicked through the pages of Brynhildr, then suddenly broke his usual composure to offer the enemies one of his sweet smirks, making Niles shudder in excitement. 

That side, the cruellest and most predatory side of Leo, was his favourite.

Leo was nothing like him: he didn’t take pleasure in hurting others. What made him smirk, maybe even unconsciously, was the perfect execution of a spell, or a strategy that had delivered the outcome he had predicted. Leo took pleasure in his skills, in his own achievement, but Niles felt a chill run down his spine nonetheless. He almost wished that those smirks were directed at him, even if he knew that Leo would never have looked at someone he loved that way. 

As a group of enemies in front of them were wiped away by Leo’s magic, the only thing he could think of was how would it feel to experience his spells on his body once more.

It was then that Leo looked in his direction, catching him staring. Leo frowned at him as their eyes met for a brief moment, then something behind him caught his attention. His eyes widened as he quickly summoned his magic again.

Niles was lucky that Leo was fast because otherwise the arrow that only grazed his cheek, deviated by Brynhildr’s gravitational magic, would have most likely killed him on the spot. A moment later, a single vine emerged from the ground to crush the enemy archer before he could fire again. “What are you doing, Niles? Pay attention!” Leo shouted angrily. 

He had been distracted for just a couple of seconds, but if Leo hadn’t been there he would have been dead. What a shame for a retainer to have his lord protect him. “I’m sorry, milord,” he shouted back, as he quickly made his way to Leo. “It won’t happen again.”

Leo glared at him for a moment before directing his horse to where the battle was still raging, without a word. Niles had no doubt he was saving them all for later.

***  
After a little more than an hour, the battle was won and they were returning to the castle.

As Odin kept ranting about his usual nonsense, Niles stole glimpses of Leo, riding beside him. He observed the blood and sweat that clung to Leo’s skin, his messy hair, his tired yet satisfied expression because the battle was won. Everything about him made his blood pump and he felt so angry about it. What if that archer had aimed at Leo instead of him and he had been too lost in his stupid fantasies to notice? Leo could have gotten hurt and it would have been his damn fault. He had to find a way to solve this situation, this could not happen again. 

They went to Leo’s room briefly, just to help the prince out of his armour. “I have to go report to Xander but your presence is not required. Good job today,” he told them.

“Of course! Odin Dark always does his best to serve his dark lord,” Odin exclaimed.

Niles just bowed his head to not attract too much attention, hoping to get away quietly. He was following Odin out of the door when Leo called him back. “Niles, stay.” 

Niles sighed and turned around to approach Leo as the door closed behind Odin. 

Now that they were alone, Leo let his stance relax and massaged the back of his neck with one hand. His shoulders and neck were always stiff after a long ride and Niles would have offered to take care of that if this was a normal circumstance. “So, care to tell me what were you thinking about today when you almost got yourself killed?”

Niles wetted his lips, trying to sound convincing. “I thought I had seen an enemy behind you and so…”

Leo’s glare made him stop mid sentence. He gulped, torn between fear and excitement. That look could have killed a weaker man. “You offend me by offering such a stupid lie. You were staring at me, I saw it. You did it all the way home too, thinking I wouldn’t notice.”

Niles lowered his eyes. He obviously wasn’t as subtle as he thought.

Seeing his distress, Leo softened his gaze and closed the distance between them. He raised his hand to gently touch the small cut on his cheek and Niles’ skin jumped at the sudden contact and pain. Before he could even realize it, he was pressing Leo against the wall, capturing his lips in a deep kiss.

Leo let out a surprised yelp that turned into a low moan. He grasped at his shoulders as his body trembled. 

Leo’s lips tasted of blood and, when he moved to kiss the exposed skin of his neck, Niles could almost taste the heat of the battle. It made him feel like his veins were filled with liquid fire.

“Ah- Niles, wait! I’m dirty…”

“Are you?” he answered with a grin.

“That’s enough,” Leo panted, cheeks red and lips swollen from their passionate kiss. He pushed him away and Niles let him, suddenly conscious of what he had done. “What the hell has gotten into you today?”

Niles felt guilty for having been so rough. He hadn’t intended it, he hadn’t intended any of this at all. “I apologize, milord.”

Leo shook his head and went for the door. “I have no idea of what’s going on in your head sometimes.”

Niles almost wanted to laugh at that: he had no idea of what was going on in his head either most of the time. “Wait, milord! I…”

“I don’t want to hear your lies. I don’t want to see you again until you’re ready to tell me what is wrong with you.”

He was almost out of the door when he turned to look at him one last time. “And go have a bath for the love of the gods!”

***  
Niles spent the following two hours in the public baths, soaking in the hot water and in his misery. 

He sat there brooding, snarling mean things to anyone who tried to talk to him, as his mind kept going back at the same conclusion: there was no way for him to get out of this without telling Leo the truth. Leo wouldn't have believed any lie he could come up with and would have only gotten angrier at him for trying to fool him once more. At the same time, every moment he spent knowing that Leo was angry at him was agony, so he couldn't even consider not going to talk to him. He really couldn't remember a time in which he had messed up so bad that it had made him not want to see him. 

He had no idea how Leo would have reacted if he told him what his body craved from him. Even if he was aware of his nature, he was one of the few people who never really experienced his twisted behaviour directly. Niles was afraid that showing him his deepest desires might scare him away, that having a glimpse of his rotten core would convince him he had made a mistake. They had been together for just a few months and Niles felt that the intimacy they shared was still new and fragile. He didn't want to lose it just because he could not contain himself. It was really a hopeless situation.

Niles sighed as he finally got out of the bath to grab a towel and fresh clothes. There was nothing he could do but prepare himself for Leo’s rejection. He had always known that he was unfit for him and that it would have become apparent to Leo one day. It was better now than later.

He remained still in front of Leo’s door for several moments before finally deciding to knock. He waited but no answer came so he attentively let himself in, finding the room empty. Either Leo was still busy with Prince Xander or he stopped by the library as he often did when he was free of duties. He decided to go there to check and of course he found him, standing beside a shelf and with his nose in a thick volume. 

Leo looked up from the book when he heard the door open, then he immediately lowered his eyes again after seeing who it was. He pouted as Niles got closer, trying his best to ignore him. 

Niles waited patiently for Leo to acknowledge him, taking in his clean skin and washed hair with a bit of disappointment. A part of him wished they could resume that kissing they left unfinished two hours prior, when the battle was still fresh on their bodies. He couldn't really complain though because he could smell the gentle aroma of the soap Leo used from where he was standing. He wouldn't have minded tasting that either.

“I’m still angry with you,” Leo said after a while, putting the book back on the shelf and turning to look at him. 

“I’m here to fix that hopefully.”

“You can’t fix the fact that Xander asked me if I was feeling well since I looked feverish.”

“Oh? Did I affect so much to make you look heated?” he said before he could stop himself. “I didn't mean that.”

Leo gave him a look, but decided to ignore his comment. “Just tell me what’s troubling you. I’ve been worried for some time because I had the feeling something was wrong. I hoped you would come to talk to me on your own sooner or later but here we are.”

“Some time, milord?”

Leo nodded, then looked away suddenly embarrassed. “This is not the first time I noticed you staring at me when you should have been concentrated in staying alive. I feel like it only grew worse lately.”

Niles blushed at being called out like that. He obviously didn't manage to hide his distress as well as he thought. “I thought you hadn’t.”

“I didn't say anything before because I didn't think it was this much of a problem, but after today I can’t just ignore it.”

“I understand.”

“Just spill it out and we can find a solution to whatever that is together.”

Niles hesitated then took Leo by the hand and guided him to the nearest sofa. They sat in silence for some moments, as Niles looked intently at one of the shelves so that he didn't have to look at Leo. “I don’t think you’ll like my honest answer.”

Leo’s firm expression faltered. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No!” Niles said immediately, feeling awful at the thought that Leo would think he was the problem. “It’s not something related to feelings, it’s something… physical. A fantasy of which I can’t get rid of.”

“Oh,” said Leo, as his cheeks turned a pretty red. “That’s it?”

Niles nodded.

Leo sighed, visibly relieved. “Then it’s much better than I thought. I couldn't really imagine being anything else than you having rethought this.”

Niles laughed at that. It was true that they both had agreed to give this relationship a try, knowing they were unsure what would come out of it, but if one of them were to rethink it, it was not going to be him. “You think too much,” he said, cupping Leo’s cheek with one hand. 

The prince smiled and leaned into his touch. “You know me, I have to find an explanation for everything.”

“If I knew you were torturing yourself over this I would have come to you sooner.”

Leo shook his head. “It doesn't matter now. So, this fantasy?”

Niles turned serious again as they got back to the topic. “You don't have to concern yourself with this, I’ll be more careful from now on. I can manage.”

Leo raised an eyebrow at him, sceptical. “You didn't do a very good job at managing it until now and I doubt you’ll do in the future. Besides, I want to know.”

Niles bit his lips, hesitating. 

“You are not usually this shy about this kind of things. You are not shy at all actually.”

“I’m not shy. If you were anyone else I wouldn't hesitate because I wouldn't care what they would think of me, but I do care when it comes to you. We’ve been together for so little… I don't want to ruin this because of my twisted nature. What we have is important to me.”

Leo smiled again, this time in delight. “I appreciate your gesture, but you have nothing to fear. It’s not like I’m the most innocent of men either. The worst that can happen is that I say no.”

Niles felt a little smile of his own find it’s way to his lips at Leo’s reassuring words. “Well, if you insist then… It’s something I’d like you to do to me.”

Leo nodded for him to continue. 

Niles wetted his lips, trying to find the best way to put his feelings into words. “When we are in battle you are… amazing. The way you annihilate your enemies, the way you smirk when you do, I find it so exciting. It makes me want to experience it myself.”

Leo stared at him, confused. “You want me to fight you?”

Niles chuckled. “As much as fighting with you excites me, milord, that's not it. I want you to take control and make me feel hopeless, make me beg for you to touch me. I want to see that cruel smirk of yours while you torture me with your magic. I want to feel Brynhildr’s vines around my limbs, keeping me from pleasuring myself. I want you to dominate me and do whatever you want to me.”

Leo was blushing a deep red now. He looked away from him. “Those were all very specific,” he said. 

“I think about this a lot, milord. I told you I can’t get rid of these fantasies.”

“So, you basically want me to hurt you?”

Niles nodded, then fidgeted on his seat. Just talking about it was making him feel hot. “I told you it was twisted.”

Leo shook his head. “It’s not twisted, I just never considered using my magic in such a way. I’m not sure it can actually feel pleasurable as you say. Moreover, even if now I understand why you kept staring at me, I can’t really see myself as you described. What I do is nothing special.”

Niles closed the distance between them to whisper in Leo’s ear. “You are the most beautiful and terrifying creature I’ve ever met. If your smirk was the last thing I’d ever see before dying I would leave this world in bliss.”

Leo grabbed Niles’ shoulders, his breath hot against his neck. “I am flattered and indignant at the same time.”

Niles’ laughed, then pulled Leo into a sweet hug. “I’m fine as long as you don't hate me.”

Leo hugged him back. “I would never hate you for so little. I have always known you liked pain so this was only half a surprise. But if we do this, I need to plan it.” 

“What?”

“Well I need to think about this properly, plan what I’m going to do, study the spells I can use…”

“No, I mean you want to indulge me?” he interrupted.

Leo lifted his head from Niles’ shoulder to look at him. “Why wouldn't I? Maybe I’ll even like it myself.”

Niles suddenly kissed Leo fondly, almost interrupting him again. Leo not only didn't reject his desires, but he even accepted them? Niles felt so relieved and happy as if he was about to burst. “What did I do to deserve you?”

Leo smiled shyly. “Maybe it’s a little too early for celebrating. I’m not sure I can actually pull this off.”

Niles chuckled. “I don't think there’s anything you can’t pull off, milord.”

Leo shook his head and kissed him. “I promise I’ll do my best for you.”

“I can’t wait.”

***  
Niles received Leo’s call almost two weeks later, some hours after sunset. 

He could barely contain his excitement as he made his way to his chambers, trying once more to imagine what to expect. He wished Leo had been less good in hiding from him what he was planning, since waiting had been a torture. At the same time though, Leo taking his time meant he had really put his mind onto this and, Niles knew, when his lord put effort in something it always turned out great. 

With a trembling hand, he knocked on Leo’s door.

Instead of simply telling him to enter, Leo came to open the door himself. “I thought opening doors for you was my job,” he teased as greeting.

Leo smiled knowingly at him as he let him enter. “I cast a spell on the room to make it isolated. You wouldn't have heard me if I told you to enter.”

Niles gulped. Oh. “Planning to make me scream?”

“Hopefully.”

Niles laughed, intrigued. “You are already entering the part, I see. I can’t wait to scream for you, milord.”

The inside of the room was dimly lit with candles, creating a cosy and intimate atmosphere. Niles looked around for anything out of the ordinary, but nothing seemed out of place. Of course Leo wouldn't let him see what was coming. 

Leo came to stand in front of him, his arms folded behind his back in his usual pose. He was dressed in his less formal attire, with one of his loose shirts and a purple vest over it. A pair of white tights covered his legs, ending in a perfectly-polished pair of leather boots. “Undress,” he told him. It was an order, but there was a sort of sweetness behind it.

Niles let out a shaky breath, then he began with unlacing his cape, letting it fall on the ground.

Leo was looking at him, at his movements, and his intense gaze almost burned on his skin as more of it was revealed. Niles discarded his boots, his shirt and, lastly, his pants. He stood naked as Leo admired him, letting his eyes wander appreciatively on his body. 

Without hurry, he moved a step closer and raised a hand to lay it on his torso. Niles realized in that moment that he was wearing gloves, black leather gloves that felt cold on his heated skin. He trembled as Leo slid his hand down his body, then slowly moved beside him, then behind him. When he talked, he did it whispering in his ear. “You are so handsome, Niles. I could look at you all day.”

Niles felt his body twitch at his words. Many people who he had been with in the past had tried very hard not to look at his marred body. He had been called disgusting, even, because of all his marks and scars. Leo had never been afraid to look at him, nor bothered, and that meant a great deal to him. Leo was too shy with compliments to praise him often, at least for the moment, but when he did it always made him feel hot.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Niles?” Leo asked, serious this time.

Niles smiled at Leo’s consideration. “More than you can imagine, milord.”

“Promise me you’ll tell me if I do anything you don’t like.”

“I promise.”

“Good,” he concluded, as he moved again in front of him. “Lay on the bed.”

Niles gladly obliged. His legs had begun to feel weak from the excitement, which was already showing clearly on his body.

Leo picked up Brynhildr from the bedside table and quickly cast a spell that Niles knew very well. The air around him vibrated with energy as Niles felt the cold vines crawl up along his legs, forcing him to spread them wide. They wrapped around his torso, then around his arms, pulling them up above his head. A minute later he could barely move, completely and hopelessly bound to the bed. Niles looked at himself, breathless. He was sure he had never been more aroused in his life. 

“How do you feel?” asked Leo, who was looking down on him from beside the bed.

Niles barely recognized his own hoarse voice. “Amazing… milord…”

“Do you? Does it feel amazing to be at my complete mercy?” he asked, joining Niles on the bed and straddling him. He cupped his face with one hand to make him look at him. “I could really do whatever I want to you right now and you would be unable to stop me.”

Niles shuddered. When did Leo learn to be like this? Did he read it in a book? Or maybe he always had it in him? He knew Leo could have pulled this off, but this was beyond his expectations. “Yes, I love it.”

Leo leaned onward to kiss him sweetly on the lips and Niles felt magic whirling around them again. When he opened his eyes though, nothing seemed different. What did Leo do to him? 

He didn’t have time to ponder on that because Leo kissed him again, this time hard. One gloved hand rose to play with his chest and Niles moaned in Leo’s mouth. His legs muscles twitched as he fought the restraints to seek friction where he wanted it the most. 

Leo immediately rose on his knees to avoid contact and Niles whined in protest. “Isn’t it too early for that, love? I thought you wanted to scream.”

He moved to kiss his neck, nipping at the sensitive skin, then continued down along his body, taking his time. He bit experimentally on his inner thigh, eliciting a gasp from Niles. That made him indulge there until his delicate skin was full of dark bruises and Niles was a panting mess. “My marks look good on you,” he said, admiring his work.

Niles trembled, wishing he could see them better than what the restraints allowed him to. He loved having Leo’s marks on him, knowing he belonged to him even when it came to intimacy. He hoped the bruises would take their time to heal so that he could look at them in the days to come and remember that moment.

When Leo moved to straddle him again, Niles could clearly see the bulge in his pants and he couldn’t help but stare hungrily at it. Knowing that his lord was liking this too made a jolt of excitement course through his body.

Leo grasped his chin with his hand, demanding eye contact once more. “Aren’t we hungry?” he grinned, then the energy danced around them, concentrating on Leo’s palm. 

When Leo laid the hand on his chest, Niles felt his magic in his veins, running through him in waves like a thunder spell. As pain and pleasure alike wrecked him, he instinctively tried to hold back his voice, biting hard on his lips until it was over. 

Leo, hand still on his chin, gently tugged on the skin with his thumb to make Niles let go and open his mouth again. “Why would you deny me your pretty moans?” he said, caressing his lips before sliding two fingers inside his mouth.

“Ah…” Niles panted as the gloved fingers played with his tongue, a small trickle of saliva escaping his mouth to drip on his chin. 

This time, when Leo let his magic course through him again, he moaned loudly around his fingers, trying not to bite them too harshly. He struggled against the restraints as he felt his excitement grow painful. This was exactly what Niles had asked for and it felt so good. He was so hard it was almost unbearable. “Touch me… please…” he mumbled as best as he could.

Leo ignored him and laid down his hand again, making Niles see stars as he tugged on the vines, shaking. Leo then removed his fingers, wiping the mess on his chin with his thumb. “I wish you could see how good you look right now.”

Niles panted. “Please, touch me, please. I need…” he said, words coming out incoherently from his mouth, his mind hazed with pleasure. 

Leo shut him up with a deep kiss that left him even more breathless than he already was, then summoned his magic again and this time, it burned. “Ah!” Niles cried as the sweet pain spread through his body.

“Do you like this?” whispered Leo. His voice was husky and he was panting slightly. 

“Y-yes, it feels so good. So good, milord…”

Another kiss, then finally Leo wrapped his hand around him. Niles hissed and turned his head, panting, moaning Leo’s name. 

“Don’t hide yourself, Niles. I want to see you” he told him, caressing his cheek. He began to stroke him slowly, too slowly. The glove felt foreign on his delicate skin. He wanted Leo’s hand, he wanted it faster. He was so close already, it was driving him insane.

“Look at you.” Leo continued, “Drooling all over yourself, begging me unashamed. You are a mess, Niles.”

As if he knew what he was thinking, Leo stroked him faster, until Niles was trembling hard under him. He was smirking now, just like Niles liked. “Come for me,” he said, then he summoned his magic again. Suddenly, little thorns blossomed along the vines that constricted him, stinging him all over. He screamed as he came instantly, his vision going completely white. 

He fell back on the bed like a sack of rocks, lying there blissfully for several moments before coming back to himself. He faintly registered that Leo was caressing his face and hair and kissing him softly on the forehead before he got off the bed to fetch a towel to clean him up with. 

He felt Leo’s vines retreat, expecting it to hurt when the thorns left his skin, but all he felt was the relief of being able to move again. He lazily stretched his sore muscles and looked at his limbs only to discover that there weren’t any injuries to be found, except the bruises in the places where the vines constricted him. He glanced at Leo questioningly and got a knowing smile in return. 

Leo approached him again to gently clean the mess on his chin and neck first, then his belly. Niles protested that he could do it himself but Leo shushed him. “So, how was I?” he asked.

Niles chuckled. “Can’t you tell?”

Leo put the towel away and got rid of his boots, vest and gloves. He got on the bed again and suddenly gathered Niles into his arms, surprising the other. “I want to hear you say it.”

Niles nuzzled against his neck, feeling warm and content in Leo’s arms. “It was amazing, milord. You were amazing.”

Leo’s cheeks reddened as he smiled in delight at the praise. “I’m happy to hear that. We should do it again sometime.”

“Oh? So you liked it too after all?”

“I-I did,” Leo admitted, embarrassed.

“Mmh, maybe next time I can be the one to tie you up.”

Leo seemed to actually consider it for a long moment before looking away. “Perhaps.”

Niles grinned. Now that he was no longer acting the domineering part, he was back at being his usual sweet and easy-flustered lord. “What did you do to me, by the way? Why am I not hurt?”

“Well, after you told me what you wanted, I immediately came to the conclusion that using actual spells on you was too dangerous, at least without testing them accurately first. I decided that creating an illusion of them would have been better. Basically I never hurt you for real, it was all in your head.” 

Creating such a realistic illusion… Niles shuddered. Damn, that was hot. “That felt very, very real to me.”

“That’s because I’m very, very good.”

Niles laughed and suddenly reversed their positions, so that Leo was sitting in his lap. The prince let out a gasp, the glared at him. “You’re insufferable.”

Niles planted a kiss on Leo’s lips. “It’s your turn now. Tell me, what can I do for you?”

“I… It’s ok, Niles. You must be spent, you don’t need to worry about me.”

“Me? Spent after so little? You don’t know me that well, milord.” 

He casually let a hand slide down Leo’s body, stopping to caress his thigh. “I want to make you feel good as you made me feel. There must be something you’d like me to do. Do you have a fantasy of your own? Let me fulfil that.”

“I… well, it’s not exactly a fantasy…” Leo began, lacing his arms around his shoulders.

Niles kissed him, then spoke softly on his lips. “Tell me.”

Leo hesitated. “Can I… Have you?”

A long moment of silence passed before Niles replied. “I have always been yours from day one, milord.”

“You are avoiding the question.”

Niles bit his lip. It would have been very egoistic of him to refuse this to Leo after he’d been so indulgent with his desires, especially since what he was asking was much more ordinary than his twisted request. At the same time this was a delicate matter for him and he wasn’t sure he was ready to talk about it. “I…”

Leo looked at him, worried. “What is it, Niles?”

Without warning, Niles pressed Leo on the mattress. He kissed him again and then smiled at him, hoping he would just drop the subject for the moment. “Why don’t you just let me take care of you? You don’t have to do anything, you can just relax.”

“Because it’s always you that pleasures me and that’s not fair. I want to take care of you too.”

“You already do too much for me.”

“That’s not true.”

Niles gawked at Leo, puzzled as to why he suddenly looked upset. “Milord, I…”

“Do I look like a lord right now?” he interrupted.

Niles paused to look at him. He took in his messy hair, his red cheeks and his disheveled clothes. “Not really.”

“Then why do you keep calling me your lord?” 

Niles stared at him, even more confused. Where did all that come from? “I don’t understand.”

Leo gently pushed him away from above him and sat up. He remained in silence for several moments before sighing. “Doesn’t it bother you that I’m still your lord even if we’re together? I mean, being partners should make us equals but we’re not and probably never will be as long as you’re my retainer.”

“Why should I be bothered?”

“Because you have to do what I say and because I have power over you? I don’t understand, at least in the bedroom it shouldn’t feel like this but you still want me to command you and to service me all the time?”

Niles laughed, wondering for how long Leo had kept those worries inside of him. “You think too much,” he told him. “I am not bothered by it. I love our relationship as it is and I want to keep serving you, milord, in every way I can. I want to protect and cherish the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Leo blushed at his words. “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me too, you know?”

“You are too kind,” Niles replied, flustered. “Does this bother you, milord? That we’re not equal.”

“It does bother me that you keep being so formal with me even when we’re alone. Why don’t you just call me Leo?”

Niles hesitated. It did feel wrong to him to put himself on the same level of Leo, but if that was Leo’s desire… “If that’s what you want, Leo.”

Leo smiled and moved closer to kiss him softly on the lips. “But also it bothers me that you never let me cherish you in return. When you finally told me what you wanted me to do the other day, even if it wasn’t what I expected, it made me happy. I want to be a good lover to you but you never tell me what you like and I don’t know why.”

Niles remained silent for a while as he tried to come up with an answer. He sighed, then decided to be honest. If there was someone that he could entrust with this, that person was Leo. Leo wasn’t a stranger to suffering and Niles knew all Leo’s soft spots, so it was only fair that he shared his as well. “I don’t know what I like.”

Leo stared at him. “You don’t?”

He wetted his lips, trying to find the words. “My experiences with being on the receiving end have been… unpleasant. I am comfortable with pain and with being dominated because I learned to like it and accept it, but usually people took what they wanted from me without worrying about my pleasure. No one ever took the time to make me feel good, that’s why I don’t know.”

“Oh” Leo said. “I’m sorry, that’s… horrible.”

Niles shrugged. “It’s just how it is, I… It doesn’t hurt anymore.”

“I don’t want to do anything you don’t want so you can say no. I wouldn’t have pushed you if I knew it was because of this.”

“You are too good to me, Leo,” Niles said. “The truth is that there is nothing I desire more in this regard than getting rid of those awful memories. Maybe making new ones, good ones, is what I need.”

“Are you sure?”

Niles nodded. “You have healed so many wounds in my heart already, why not this one too? Everything is different if it’s you.”

They kissed, sweetly, slowly. “I love you,” Leo murmured against his lips, gently pushing him down on the bed. 

“I love you too.”

Niles tugged on Leo’s remaining clothes and he moved to undress, then he let Leo position himself between his legs, gripping at his shoulders. 

“If you don’t know what you like, we’ll just have to find out together,” Leo said with a smile, leaning on him to start kissing him all over like he did before. This time, though, it was soft and slow, almost apologetic for hurting him previously. Niles couldn’t remember a time in which someone had been this gentle with him.

He let out a shaky breath he didn’t know he was holding. Every gentle kiss sent sparkles through his body and he was confused as to why those simple gestures were affecting him so much. His body was reacting more to kindness than to those hot ministrations Leo gave him before. Niles had always thought that nothing was more exciting than pain, but maybe it was because he had never tried gentle touches like that. Or maybe he had just been so starved of this kind of affection and he hadn’t even realized it. 

He felt himself tremble as Leo kissed the bruises on his thighs, clearly visible even on his dark skin. “Oh, so those weren’t illusions then,” he teased.

Leo looked up at him from his position. “It wasn’t a lie when I said that my marks look good on you.”

Niles grinned at him. “My, my… I’m corrupting my innocent prince already.”

Leo gave him a bite as an answer. “Pass me the oil?”

Niles’ smile faltered a little as he stretched to open the drawer beside the bed to get Leo the small bottle. Leo dripped some on his fingers before gently massaging his entrance. “Tell me if I’m doing anything wrong, alright? You can tell me to stop at any moment.”

Niles nodded, then tried to offer him a reassuring smile. “I’m fine, just a little tense.”

Leo looked at him for a long moment, thinking, then repositioned himself between his thighs. He took him in his hand and then slowly applied his mouth to distract him from his finger entering him.

“Ah- Mil… Leo, you don’t have to…”

Leo raised his head to glare at him. “Shut up and let me take care of you.”

Niles blushed as he let his head fall back on the pillow. He didn’t know how to feel. He didn’t know how to let others take care of him. He buried one hand in Leo’s hair and used the other to cover his face. He panted and moaned when Leo added a second finger, than a third, while his mouth kept pleasuring him. “I think it’s enough. If you keep going I won’t last.”

Leo stopped and removed his fingers, making Niles shudder. “Are you alright?” he asked, leaning on him to plant a few kisses on his chest. 

Niles peeked at him from under his arm. He looked concerned, probably because Niles was hiding away from him. He uncovered his face and rose on his elbow to cup Leo’s face and kiss him. “I’m fine, don’t worry. This is just new to me, having someone that actually wants to take care of me, but I like it. I… I like when you’re gentle with me.”

Leo smiled, then kissed him again, deeply. “I love you, of course I would want to do that.”

“I love you too.”

Leo dripped some more oil to slick himself, then lined himself with his entrance. He looked back at Niles and he nodded at him to proceed, gripping his shoulders as Leo slowly entered him. 

Leo panted as he bottomed out, his cheeks flushed a delightful shade of red. “You’re tight…”

“It’s been quite some time since when I last did this.”

“Tell me when you’re ready.”

Niles nodded. Bad memories, mainly sensations, kept crawling from the back of his mind, but being with Leo, looking at his pretty face, pushed them away. Hopefully one day they would be gone entirely, Leo could make that happen. “You can move” he said. 

Leo nodded and made one slow experimental thrust, then another, slowly picking up a pace.

Niles felt his body tense in the beginning, but it grew relaxed as pleasure overtook his limbs. He had always knew that being taken felt good from his experience in doing it to others, but he had never felt it on himself. His memories were all foggy, with a blurry person without a real face over him, representing the countless people he had to lay with to live another day. The only clear things were pain and fear, so vivid he could almost feel them on his skin if he tried to remember. He was not afraid in that moment though, nor in pain. It felt good, intimate, he didn’t want it to stop. It suddenly dawned on him that this was how it should have been.

Niles felt an unexpected rush of emotions rise from his chest, tightening his throat and making his eyes go wet. He trembled, not knowing what to do. When was the last time he had cried? He couldn’t really remember it.

He rose on his elbow again to capture Leo’s lips, feeling his heart explode from how much he loved this young man. He hugged him and kept him close to hide his wet cheeks from him. 

Leo was panting hard in his ear, from effort and pleasure. “I’m close…” he said. 

“Me too, don’t stop.”

Leo’s body trembled as his pace grew erratic. He hid his face in his neck, moaning his name.

As Leo came inside him, Niles felt himself draw closer. He raised a hand to take care of himself but Leo preceded him. “A-ah, Leo…” he whined as his hand brought him to completion. He bit Leo’s neck as his climax hit him in waves.

For some moments, they remained still, intertwined, as they waited for their breaths to calm down. Niles caressed Leo’s hair, smiling. He dried his tears before the other could see them, so that he didn’t get the wrong idea. There was no need for Leo to overthink this, it was something Niles had to figure out on his own. 

Leo gently pushed them apart after a while, kissed him fondly as he exited him. “I’ll get clean towels.”

He got up to go through his private bath, coming back a moment later. Niles let him clean him up once more as he began to feel sleepy. Leo wiped himself too and then laid on the bed with him. 

They remained in silence for a while, gently caressing and cuddling each other, content. Niles was trying to find something meaningful to say, but he wasn’t good with feelings. “Thank you, Leo,” he said at last, when most of the candles had already died and he could barely make out Leo’s figure in the dark room. 

Leo kissed his forehead, half asleep. “I should be thanking you.”

“No, really, I mean it.”

“So do I, moron. We can keep arguing on this until tomorrow if you want.”

Niles chuckled. “I would never deprive you of your sleep. You are terrible when you’re tired.”

“I take it back.”

“So, I won.”

Leo hit him with a cushion and Niles took that as a cue to shut up. He held Leo close to his chest and kissed his head, whispering a goodnight between his golden locks.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated <3
> 
> You can find me on twitter at @arghenthia


End file.
